Spring and the farmer’s dating calendar

Spring always means a flurry of activity. The smell of turned earth (dirt) wafts through open windows and the hum of tractors fill the air. Planting season is in full force. Late nights in a tractor and always another field to plant weigh heavy on many farmers’ minds. Stress and sunshine, excavation and exhaustion. This is what spring means in Upstate New York.

Spring also means that it’s time for me to remind everyone of the Farmer’s Dating Calendar (below). An ever popular (and accurate) accounting of what one can expect when the person that makes their heart beat wears Carhartt and knows what a 4020 is (it’s a green? tractor).

By the way, about this time last year I (unfortunately) heard the best break-up line ever: “I realized that I love my tractor more than I like you.” My shocked response? But I have boobs! Anyway, I had a farmer friend over for dinner last week. He showed 2 hours late. Pizza and beer in hand, his first words to me were: “I swear, I like you a hell of a lot more than I like my tractor.” At least someone’s learned the lesson.

Winter: December is a no (Christmas), January is possible, February is a no (Valentines Day), early March is OK, but late may be a problem

Spring is a big NO: April is planting, May is haylage (and turkey hunting season) and June is the beginning of hay season which means they can date, but only if it’s raining.

Summer: July is more hay, so weather permitting, August is actually possible.

Autumn: September is the end of hay, but let’s hope you like fair food and cow barns because that’s probably where he’ll take you on a date, October is chopping, November is deer hunting season.

In other words ladies, if you are dreaming about finding yourself a farmer to cuddle close to at night…good luck!

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